I've been in Texas a little over 9 months. I don't necessarily hate it buut I don't love it. You know that euphoric feeling you get when you enter your home? I don't really feel that. My stuff is here but I still feel like a visitor most days. Despite my discomfort, I am determined to make the best of it and make some memories in the process...
So that leads me to where I am now.
Being in a new place and being an introvert is a bitch. I'd like to get out and meet some dope people but I hate people at the same time. I mean I like my people but new people...nah. I'd rather not. But I still want to meet people. You get it? Me neither... Anyway, in my quest to not become a recluse, I decided to join an online dating site. In order for things to change, one must make changes and some times those changes can be uncomfortable. THIS is uncomfortable for me. I never felt like their was anything WRONG with online dating. Hell, it's no different from the PartyLine we used to play around on as kids. BlackPlanet too. I just never really felt the need to. So after much debate, I created a profile on one of the popular sites. I ain't gon name no names. *coughs* One of the words rhymes with wish.
So bam. I create the page, answer the questions, post a few pics, and exit the app. Mind you, I created this the day before my cake day. I dosed off and when I woke up in the morning, my notifications are goin dumb. I'm thinking it's my people showing me love. And it was. But the lil icon to the app for the dating site has taken over my screen. I open the app and have hella messages and hearts and shit. So I start the process of weeding through the weirdos, the elderly, and the boogey monsters. Look, I ain't superficial but I cannot be talking to Flava Young Craig Mack Thug Smith. I come across a few interesting candidates, skim their profiles, and return their "hey my beautiful black Queen shining brighter than the sun" messages.
I come across a message from a guy named Cory (names have been changed to protect my black ass). He seems polite and he's cute. I reply to his simple hello and keep it moving. Not 5 seconds after I greet him, he sends another message. Now we're making small talk. So we go back and forth for awhile and I decide I'm calling it a night. I close the conversation. The next afternoon, I check my email and see that I have a message from Cory in the app. So I log in to respond. Again, not long after I respond, he send me another message. We're playing ring around the rosie again. At this point, I am responding to him and a few other guys and the shit is low-key getting aggy. So I tell Cory, to take my number and just text me because I was logging out. I get a text not long after and also a link to a video messaging app. Cory starts texting me through the app and then asks if we can video chat. I say cool. This is where the shit gets interesting.
The screen pops up and I see him laying down. I instantly start thinking "This kneegrow bet not pull out his yadig!" 😒 We exchange pleasantries and yadda yadda yadda. All the time, I am looking at him and past him as he starts moving around. I know he is in a room but I can't really tell what kinda room it is. It doesn't look like a bedroom but he was just laying down. I know he ain't walk out the room because he didn't go through any doors. I see walls but they don't look like bedroom walls. But was just laying down. He's keeping the camera at an angle where I really on see him and walls. So I'm like fuck it, I'm just gon ask his ass. I'm like "So Cory, where are you?" I see his face kinda flush and he takes a deep breath. He's like "Ummm. See that's kinda why I wanted to video chate with you Jazzy Jazz. I wanted to explain myself." I'm like "Explain what my dude?! Answer the question tho..." He's like "Well, I'm in the Feds." Bruuuh.... 😑😯 Now I thought my mind was playing tricks on me so I'm I ask him to run that shit by me one more time. He repeats himself. So for clarity, I repeat him. "Umm... the feds like jail? Like prison? Like the joint?!" He says yeah. Then it dawns on me.... How the HELL does this nigga have a dating profile?! Wait. NO. HOW DOES HE HAVE A DAMN CELL PHONE?! So I ask him if he was supposed to have it or nah. He says nah and gets ready to explain and I stop him. Say less. I do not wanna know shit. If somebody asks me I want to be able to say I'on know and it be the truth. At this point I think he can sense my...shit, I don't know what it was I was feeling but whatever it was, he knew. Like he was used to the shit. He told me he had to get ready for school and he'd hit me back later...
Should I feel special cuz Fed Bae was willing to risk it all to talk to me?
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